Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Top 10 Things Never Say to a Dead Author

  • 10. Everybody has forgotten you...except me.
  • 9. You should've tried to create a memorable character.
  • 8. It's as if you never wrote anything.
  • 7. I asked the librarian if anybody wrote a biography of you and she almost died laughing.
  • 6. They found someone to complete your last unfinished novel. Justin Bieber.
  • 5. Thank god you can't write any more books--oh wait, you're Robert Ludlum, never mind.
  • 4. You know those famous authors you had literary feuds with? They're still alive.
  • 3. I can't find any of your books at the library. Amazon doesn't have any either.
  • 2. No one seems to have been influenced by you.
  • 1. At least you don't need to worry about more bad reviews.

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You Might Also Like:

  1. Top 10 Things Never Say to a Librarian
  2. Top 10 Things Never Say to a Bestselling Author
  3. Top 10 Things Never Say to a Poet
  4. My Novel: Murder at the Library Conference: A Comedy
  5. My Twitter Page
  6. My Amazon Author Page
  7. My Goodreads Page

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