- 10. Everybody has forgotten you...except me.
- 9. You should've tried to create a memorable character.
- 8. It's as if you never wrote anything.
- 7. I asked the librarian if anybody wrote a biography of you and she almost died laughing.
- 6. They found someone to complete your last unfinished novel. Justin Bieber.
- 5. Thank god you can't write any more books--oh wait, you're Robert Ludlum, never mind.
- 4. You know those famous authors you had literary feuds with? They're still alive.
- 3. I can't find any of your books at the library. Amazon doesn't have any either.
- 2. No one seems to have been influenced by you.
- 1. At least you don't need to worry about more bad reviews.
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