Sunday, February 15, 2015

Top 10 Reasons to Not Play Chess

  1. It overheats the cerebellum, inducing brainsickness.
  2. Ever heard of a rich chessplayer?
  3. You have to memorize the first 20 moves of every opening, or you're just wasting your time.
  4. You have to memorize strategies of all endings, or you'll just throw away your win.
  5. Cheaters use computers to beat superior opponents all the time, so it doesn't really matter how good you are, you're still going to lose.
  6. You have to buy a tournament-quality chess set, clock, books, opening database program, online website membership fees, and national association dues allowing you the right to play in tournaments. And that's before you pay tournament registration fees plus hotel and travel costs.
  7. Only a few players in any tournament win prize money. Most go home empty-handed, having spent hundreds of dollars for nothing.
  8. It's not like someone will see chess on your LinkedIn bio and offer you a job.
  9. How many girls on Tinder say they want a chessplayer?
  10. Even if you win, so what?
Buy my short story collection focusing on chess: Queen of the Chess Cult and Other Stories

Buy my novel, written mostly in cafes: Murder at the Library Conference:

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